Four years have passed since I started my courageous journey to level up my career as a Design-Build Manager in a reputable design-build firm in the heart of Silicon Valley.
I had always been a contender at a young age. I mostly compete against myself. I summon to challenges that can transform me into the better version of myself. I set goals that were bigger than me; goals that were so uncomfortable it made other people laugh. I had dreamt of dreams that scared me. The more difficult the terrain, the more I gravitated towards it.
I was very hungry when I decided to fully pursue my career; hungry for experiences and hungry to learn from the best. I volunteered to be an unpaid intern in the earlier days of my career----knowing that someday, I would be a successful designer. I have always had a "yes" attitude, and I welcomed tasks outside my comfort zone.
Designing is second nature to me, but managing construction------although anything construction gives me butterflies----was quite daunting. It was an uncharted territory for me.
I thought taking on a role as the Design-Build Manager was a big shoe to fill, considering that I had to manage construction sites, our construction crew, deal with different city officials, and work side-by-side with tradespeople, mostly men who had been in the industry for many years. At the same time, I had to run these operations in the affluent cities of Silicon Valley.
There were some tasks that I had never done before (and sometimes did not know what to do), but I approached all things with an "I-will-figure-it-out" mentality. I did not allow anything or anyone to intimidate me. In those four years, not only have I sharpened my design and sales skills, nor had I merely added managerial skills under my belt, but I took responsibility of becoming a leader. When I started in this role, I did everything; from meeting and greeting clients, selling, designing, visiting job sites, generating construction drawings and documents, processing permits, overseeing the projects, budgeting, resolving day-to-day conflicts, specifying and purchasing materials, scheduling, and communicating with clients. I soon realized that it was not sustainable: It was not sustainable for the company, and it was not sustainable for my mental health.
We built a team for us to grow. I was very involved in our hiring process as we scout new talents and teammates. I trained and delegated. The initial process was time-consuming, but things paid off because our new assembly line proved to be more productive.
I was able to focus on my passions: to design and sell. I knew who I was, and I was not confused. I am a designer. I was highly qualified as a "manager" but I preferred to lead my team and encourage everyone to enhance their skills. I was able to make more impact in the company when I focused on my niche. I still had to wear different hats, but this time, we had a team of talented people performing different roles. We all played our instruments in the band. Mine was my creativity and enthusiastic engagement with clients' needs.
For four years, day in and day out, I gave my heart to dedicate myself to every project, every challenge, and every transformation of each space, even if it meant commuting an average of four hours a day. I treated my jobs as my " job babies" because I was involved from concept to completion.
Our son was a year old during that time. I remember the pain and anxiety we both went through every time I had to leave in the morning, knowing that I would be gone all day, be back at home late, exhausted, spending only an hour with him before bed.
I knew that I was wired to work, not just because of financial needs, but because I genuinely love what I do. However, as time passed, I was aware of the milestones I had missed in my son's early childhood. I was enlightened when I remembered how present my mom was as she advanced her career. She was always there. She balanced her well-being, motherhood, marriage, and life, in general.
I desired to be the same; be relentless in pursuing my destiny but still be an involved mother in my child's life and upholding my relationship with my husband. I knew it would not be easy, but I could achieve both.
When the pandemic hit in 2020, it changed the world. It changed the design and remodeling business, and it changed the dynamics in our family. It was also the time when my mother-in-law was diagnosed with a rare and aggressive cancer (She was the main reason why my husband and I were able to work full-time, as he also pursued his degree. She helped take care of our son.)
During that time, I had a taste of working from home. It was a big adjustment, considering that most of my roles required personal interactions. This unexpected turn of events allowed me to be more involved in my child's care and also allowed me to take care of my mother-in-law and be there for her treatments. I finally felt a balance, and most of the mom guilt disappeared.
However, I eventually had to go back to the office. I had to resume the "rat race" of life again. As passionate as I was, I was burning out physically and mentally. I was losing my spark. The passion for serving my clients was still there, but I started to lose motivation. I was at the peak of my success but did not find fulfillment. I was scared that my career was all starting to feel like "work."
I had countless confrontations with myself: "What's your problem?" "What do you want?" Is it my struggle to find an impossible balance between being a good mom and achieving my dreams? Do I want to make more money? Am I not happy with my job? Should I find a new career? Am I just tired?" "Maybe because I was always tired?" I had to resolve my inner turmoil.
In the midst of it all, God was faithful. He knew who I was, and He knew exactly where I needed to be. I am His masterpiece. He is the Potter, and I am the clay. He had a plan for my life.
Mark 8:36 says "For what shall profit a man, if he shall gain the whole world, and lose his soul?"
"What profit will I gain if I pursue my dreams but jeopardize my health and my relationship with my family? What profit will I gain if I become a distant or absent mother?" I tried my best to connect with my son when I got home, but I was perpetually tired. I felt like I was always trying to catch up with time, but my stamina was weak. There was a point in my life when I felt like I stopped living fully; I was just wearing the badge of being "busy". I slowly developed anxiety because of the physical and mental stress I had to go through every day. I also had to face the harsh reality that the odds were not in our favor regarding Mom's battle with cancer. On the surface, I looked normal, but deep inside my gut, I felt like I was falling apart.
I had a quest for a quality life for myself and my family. All I knew was I wanted to spend more time with them, and I did not want to give them my leftovers anymore: leftover energy, leftover time, and leftover attention. I desired a lifestyle in which I could "work to live" not "live to work." I needed to take care of myself, so I could better attend to people around me.
I started looking for a new job and a new place to live. After prayers, research, and much consideration, my husband and I made a conjugal decision to build a house in Austin, Texas. Our plan was also to move Mom's care to one of the best cancer specialists in the country, MD Anderson. We've had people asking, why Austin? Why Texas? Some of my responses were:
"We fell in love with Austin and felt at home when we first visited." "We love the topography of this place."It's so vibrantly green most of the year, and this place has lots of water features." "We love the outdoors. We love to hike. We love food and people." "It's a good place for young families like us, and there are plenty of job opportunities." "It's not as humid and not as hurricane-prone!" "We're moving mom's care to MD Anderson." But one of the most practical and obvious reasons was, we want to be financially independent. We want to build a legacy for our children.
It makes all the sense to purchase a house where we can afford to live modestly at a slower pace, own a property, and not need to sell our souls into working all our lives to pay mortgage or the least, barely afford a tiny apartment without a yard in the Bay Area. That was one of the major reasons why we moved here. We did not want to live to work anymore. We, I, wanted to reclaim our lives; my life. I wanted to have more time to be involved in the ministry again. I desired to breathe again. I wanted to have a normal daily meal where I am not in a rush to beat traffic. I wanted to be social again and be available to friends and families.
I saw a great potential in Austin, and it was thrilling to start on a clean slate and a fresh canvas. When I was young, my family migrated to the United States in search of a better life. We are doing the same for our family this time. Moving here was for the future of our family.
I have been working in the Bay Area for 15 years. I lived there for almost two decades and felt like it was the end of an era for me. I needed a reset. In Austin, I can become a pioneer in a new state and city. I get to dream, set new goals, and challenge myself again. I thought of starting my design firm, but I knew it would take time to build my network because I would be a foreigner here. I had to do some groundwork and get familiarized with the area first to get to know the market, so I continued my job search.
I was done wasting my life in the day-to-day four-hour Bay Area commute. As I searched for new opportunities, I had a "non-negotiable" list to consider. When I was young and inexperienced, I did not have standards in terms of looking for a job. I would do everything and anything. I even worked for free! But now, as a seasoned designer and a family woman, I could be selective, and I had the leverage to negotiate my terms.
The months of job hunting paid off, and I received multiple offers in California and Austin. I had project manager offers, sales representative, senior designer positions, consultant, and many more. My experience would match some positions, but I could not find the perfect fit. After two interviews, I entertained other opportunities to sharpen my interview skills. During the interviews, I was very intent with my questions because I was on a mission to find the right place for me.
I had an offer where I could potentially make 3x what I was making, but I did not regret turning it down because the company culture prioritizes work over family; to make more, you have to sell more to the extent of sacrificing your time away from your family. It was very enticing, but it wasn't for me. When the president of the company told me during an in-person interview that he has high-performing sales designers who sacrifice their vacation to hit their target goals and exceed them, I knew I wasn't the one they were looking for, although my sales record qualifies for the position they were offering me. I have a strong work ethic, but my moral compass pivots around my family and my walk with God. I believe work is not all that; life and family are.
I wanted to be in a workplace where I could unleash my potential, acquire new skills, have autonomy, do what I love doing, and still have a quality life with my family.
Recruiters contacted me. Job offers came in left and right, but those weren't the right opportunity. My employer then knew that I was moving and looking for a job in Austin, so he convinced me to stay with the company as a remote Design-Build Manager and senior designer which required me to travel to California occasionally to meet new clients. The daily commute was eliminated, but I found myself working more hours in my home office. I was home with my son, but I wasn't really home. I was even more unavailable. I was still off balance.
Then, I became pregnant with our second child which again changed the trajectory of our lives. This beautiful season was also the time when my mother-in-law declined. She passed away earlier this year after her courageous three-year battle. It was one of the most darkest and painful times because I was very close to her.
There were a lot of transitions in my life, and motherhood is calling deep.
I lived in Austin, but my daily life was in California. It worked out for a year, but I knew I wanted to be mentally and physically present where I was. I was still in a rut. My job roles were very demanding and stressful which almost put myself and my baby in danger. I am still grieving, and I miss my wonderful mother-in-law. She was truly like a second mother to me.
However, I am blessed to have a village; my family. My parents, father-in-law, and my siblings were there through it all, and I am so grateful.
I came across a unique, once-in-a-lifetime opportunity when I reached out to Kevin Bryant, one of the owners of Bentwood Luxury Kitchens and Harmoni Kitchens.
Bentwood/Harmoni is a fine custom cabinet manufacturer in Lancaster, Texas established 35 years ago. I have been affiliated with their company since I started my design career in 2011. The first design-build firm I worked for was one of the oldest Bentwood dealers in Northern California. I had such a great experience with Bentwood/Harmoni (customer service and performance of products) that when I moved to the company in Silicon Valley, I convinced the owner to become a dealer, too!
I have met the owners, Kevin and Randy, several times, and they were both a delight to be with. They were down-to-earth, authentic, and genuine people. They simply care, and you can feel it. I had worked with the same Bentwood and Harmoni factory staff for over a decade, and the service had always been unparalleled. They were my long-distance colleagues whom I never met in person.
I had experience designing and selling different cabinetries including other domestic products, and Canadian and European lines, but Bentwood and Harmoni's beauty and quality stood out and surpassed others. Clients could tell the difference! I believe in this product. It was very natural for me to introduce their lines to my clients because I knew they would speak for themselves and would stand the test of time. I became their brand ambassador over the years, and I've incorporated them into most of my projects. I had worked with gifted craftsmen and cabinet installers, and I got to spoil them by specifying these products because it made their jobs easier. They were seamless to install. The cabinets and parts are crafted meticulously and they are engineered very well.
These were some of my design and remodeling projects using Bentwood and Harmoni over the years.
(Click on the arrows to view more photos)
When I reached out to Kevin, I inquired about being a dealer in the Austin area. It did not cross my mind to ask for a job, but I simply wanted to continue being their brand ambassador and introduce their product in a new market where they did not have a dealer or a showroom. I saw a great opportunity. If I were to start my design firm in Austin, I planned on selling Bentwood and Harmoni again because I wanted to represent a quality product: A product that I know and trust.
To my surprise, he offered for me to be a direct representative and designer of Bentwood in Austin. He knew that I had been an advocate of their product for a long time. He believed in my potential, and it meant a lot to me. I did not see this coming, but he saw something in me. Hundreds of local Austin designers could be a dealer or representatives, but he gave me this opportunity.
He mentioned that I could have what I am looking for; growth, autonomy and ownership, flexibility and time with my family, creativity, and being able to continue selling their products--but with added support from him and the entire Bentwood and Harmoni team. When he mentioned "team", I instantly felt connected. I know those people! I finally met the staff in the factory (after more than a decade), and I got to put faces behind those voices. I was ecstatic! Kevin introduced me to one of the showroom managers from Houston, Shawna Roorda, and we instantly clicked! Meeting her and working with her to establish Bentwood of Austin gave me so much encouragement.
I looked back, and my initial conversation with Kevin was the answer as to why I rejected countless offers in the past-----when at times, I felt like I was passing on several lucrative jobs. For me, it was never really about how much I could make. I wasn't in a rush to jump on just any offers that came my way. My patience paid off, and I got recompensed with the right opportunity customized for me.
My conversation with Kevin felt right. I suddenly felt excited about my future as a designer again. I felt that my purpose and calling as a designer were rekindled.
What also made it feel right was when Kevin said these words---polar opposite of what the other company owner told me:
"Karmela, I do not watch the clock at Bentwood. You can sell if you want to sell. That's up to you. The guys in the factory love what they do." This is what I was looking for in a company. A company that values people and their well-being.
Bentwood has hundreds of dealers nationwide, including the two companies I worked with, but they only have three showrooms: Bentwood of Dallas, Bentwood of Houston, and I will represent the Bentwood of Austin.
Kevin and I chuckled. I reminded him that he's known me since I was 21 years old when I was starting my career as an intern. I felt honored to work for a company that has integrity. All along, I was in the process of "becoming." God knew.
Kevin had a vision of a "brick and mortar" place for our display within five years, but an opportunity soon arose when we got invited to lease a space in the new The Marketplace. Anita Erickson, the CEO, reached out to the design community, vendors, and investors to create a centralized space for the trade industry in Austin, Texas-- a place that has been missing in this market for a long time.
Kevin's long-term plan was expedited. Never in my wildest imagination I ever expected to have a rare opportunity like this. When I shared this with my family, they had mixed emotions and reactions. They were excited for me, but I had a feeling that they were nervous, as well.
We just moved to a different state away from them, we just had a newborn baby, I quit my full-time job, and I am risking everything for a vision. There were a lot of unknowns. A lot of new things. Nobody knows me here. I have to connect to a network and start to build my clientele from scratch. I will be the "new kid in the block." This is another uncharted territory.
However, the vision pulls me. The vision of taking this opportunity to the next level quiets my doubts and fears. When I resigned from the position of Design-Build Manager to take heed to a new calling, I knew I had to be ALL IN. I had to leave my comfort zone to grow. I had to push new limits. Doing something bigger and scary is in my DNA. I get to become a pioneer for my family. I get to do what others have not done before.
The flexibility of being able to take care of my family while paving this new road is exhilarating. I can sense the gravity of the responsibility and work I have to do, but it's okay. In fact, this feels more than OKAY. I also know that I am not doing this alone.
Our Bentwood and Harmoni showroom displays are currently being manufactured and will be installed at The Marketplace this November. We will have a Grand Opening on December 7th, which symbolizes the new doors that will be open in my life. I will be meeting new clients here in this beautiful space: homeowners, builders, architect, designers, and other trade partners. It's very exciting!
God is not done with me yet, and I trust Him in this process of "becoming."
Stay tuned! I will be posting the photos of our new showroom!
#faith #family #career #manifesting #becoming #newopportunity #designer #aspire #passion #momlife #motherhood
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